Confessions

I want a man who I can confess to that I only have Neutral Milk Hotel on my iTunes because it's one of Jesse Lacey's favorite bands. And if he doesn't know who Jesse Lacey is, Jesse Lacey just happens to be the man behind my favorite band. I've listened to Neutral Milk Hotel a handful of times, like a few songs okay, but can't get into the rest of it. I keep the music there simply because it's one of the favorite bands of my favorite band.

And I want that man to find that endearing, not dumb.

Nice to meet you...

I "met" someone for the first time last week that I've known for over two years. In that time span, I've given him a place to sleep and shower, a few passing hugs and the careless "see ya next time" as he would once again roll out of town with his best friends who just happen to be a few of my best friends.

This person was so scared of disappointing the girl he loved that he failed to make lasting connections, even strictly platonic, with any other female he met. I realize his respect and love for her, but I also hope he realizes the years of relationships he's missed out on.

Car rides brought us closer last week, allowed me to see the genuine, ultra-sensitive, kind, intelligent, thoughtful, selfless, pained person that he is. We shared a few scars, our stories, some dumb mistakes and some laughs (mostly from me when I was half asleep). We shared ourselves. I know I'm not the only person who has gotten to know him recently because of the pain he's had to endure - the six years of his life that he's still recovering from - but I'm grateful to know this man; to know his heart, his spirit, his faith, his story.

If we never have another week like that again in our friendship, at least I know that he knows that I care. I know that just by listening, by igniting that friendship at the right point in time - the kind of friendship that we've never been able to have - that I helped him. I see such a change on the horizon. And just to let him know that someone was there after waiting for so long to be let in... it's hope. And I hope that the change he needs in his life is something he found in me and will find in all the connections he's able to make for the next six years.

"I realize that no change will ever come unless we involve our lives in the lives of others. Unless we get to know people by their names, their stories and their struggles, change will never take place. The right decision, I believe, is allowing people to make the right decision for themselves and to be there to help them through the process, to be their community."